Linda's(LINDABF13) One Year Achievement

"I had my rough moments..."

Hi everyone,
I promise to respond to each of you individually soon, but I wanted to say a group thank-you. I really appreciate everything everyone has said about me making it to one year. I was sitting here crying like a baby reading everyone's kind words, just knowing that all of you really do care.

A speech, huh? I've been thinking for the past few days about what I would write and it's all kind of jumbled in my head right now, so here goes(hope it makes sense LOL):

If you have read my journal, you will know that I had my rough moments during the beginning of my quit. I quit because I had shortness of breath and I was so scared I had lung cancer. Throwing the cigarettes away was the easiest part. The hardest part was the next few weeks.

Hell Week is just that because all I was doing was thinking about having a cigarette, but I wouldn't allow myself to have one. Drank lots of water and took lots of deep breaths. With one week under my belt came Heck Week, and the cravings were not as bad, but they were there. As my quit progressed into further weeks, things got better...well, sort of.

At work, I always had my door closed when I first quit, and pitied the person who needed to see me. It wasn't pretty at times. I am so blessed because I told my coworkers that I wouldn't "be myself", and they may need to "back off" for awhile until these feelings passed. They understood. There are 2 people that I work with who are former smokers, so they knew what I was going through.

I found the forum about 3 weeks into my quit. (Gawd, it seems like yesterday...serious). There were people who were 3 months into their quits, or 6 months, or 9 months. I was in awe that people could actually quit for that long. I didn't think I could do it. I tried not to use the word "never" in my vocabulary, because I was afraid I wouldn't succeed in this quit (this is about my third quit since I started smoking at age 15--I'm 43 years young now). Now I can use the word never, because I will NEVER have another cigarette.

As the months went by, the urges lessened and my breathing improved a thousand-fold. I didn't have any alcoholic drinks until I was about 7 months quit. I was so scared that I would want to smoke. Guess what? I did drink, but I didn't smoke. The smell of cigarettes was awfully good though, but the urge to smoke them....naw.

I also had one extremely rough period at my 4 month milestone(February). I had to put my beloved dog, Lady, down. I was so distraught and really wanted a cigarette. But, like I have written in previous posts, I was too lazy and too sad to run to the convenience store and buy a pack. It was hard, but I got through it.

For anyone who is just quitting, YOU CAN DO IT! What helped me the most was that I really wanted to quit, so I had the willpower to do it and also the determination to stay quit. I also became committed to stopping the nasty habit by coming to this forum and having all these wonderful people supporting me. People at work supported me too, but only you can truly understand what I have gone through.

Don't ever think you can't do it and let nicotine win. Nicotine will never win this race, only you can. Just like my saying goes: "The nicodemon is not a real person and anything that isn't real can be beat!"

Thank-you everyone for helping me reach this tremendous milestone! Bless you all!

Linda
Liberated from smoking on 10/2/2002

More from Linda:
Linda's Quit Smoking Story
Linda's 3 Year Smoke Free Milestone
Linda's 4 Year Smoke Free Milestone