The reasons why I quit can be listed in the hundreds.
The times I had said I would quit were in the thousands.
I simply put it off, or ignored, the signs that smoking was killing me.
Fortunately for me, there was one person who did not ignore the signs, had been told the truth about smoking and wanted me to stick around awhile. His words were so sweet and so touching that I had to listen."Maw-maw, I don't want you to die."
With those precious words burned and etched into my heart, I made a promise that I could not break. Today, I know that I will keep that promise.
I will never forget that day when Cody looked at me with great concern in his little eyes and said those words. If you've ever seen the commercial on television with the children talking to their loved ones to please stop smoking, look for the little blond fellow who says "I don't want to lose you." He is a little blonde guy with deep, sensitive eyes. He and my Cody look a great deal alike.
I set the date, and the night before, I removed everything. No cigarettes, ashtrays, lighters...nothing. I was getting scared even as I went about this mission, but there was no turning back now. I had sealed the deal and it was to be kept. I made a mental note on things I associated with a cigarette, and made changes as much as I could. I bought different flavored coffees. I laid sugarless gum on every piece of furniture I owned. I had my car cleaned and deodorized to remind me. I thought I had covered everything.
Into my fourth day...I was in trouble!
I had smoked my last cigarette on September 30, 2002. I had made it to October 4, 2002, just four horrible days, when I knew I needed help. I went online and typed the word SMOKING. Now, as anyone in the forum can tell you, I am computer illiterate. The chances of my finding the forum were at that moment, about as good as me quitting. Do I believe in a higher power? Of Course! Circumstance has it's moments, but I know that I was meant to find this wonderful place and not only succeed at destroying this terrible addiction, but also make friends that I will keep for a lifetime.
I began to read the posts of others who were doing the same thing...QUITTING
! I became fascinated with all the reading! I was excited, happy and downright thrilled to just come to the computer and log on! I was doing great and just knew that my quit was a done deal.
I don't know if I should even mention the reality check some of us get. Some call them the threes or the fours, and I have been told that some never experience them at all. The only thing I know is that one day I woke up and my world was spinning out of control. My cravings were driving me mad; I couldn't concentrate, and my body seemed to be turning on me. The only things missing were the "pink elephants", and they would have appeared had I not come into the forum and Cried Out for help. With that one post, help that would work came pouring in.
The most wonderful people in the world came to my aid when I cried out for help in my post. Pam really introduced me to the cognitive approach that she had followed. She and Terry both helped me to understand that MY MIND had to change. I needed to re-think all of my actions. Why would I fight the cravings, instead of accepting and waiting them out? I had made my quit so hard on myself, when the simple answers were the most profound!
It was a comfort to me as well, when Blue, LadyZ, Zoe, Neeny and Mikki would write me every day to make sure I was sticking to my guns. Ideas and answers were coming in faster than I could read them, and I used them all. I began to take warm, soaking baths with candles and soothing music, and it worked like a charm. To this day, I still take them and pamper myself. Today, because of the lessons I learned, I am a Non-Smoker, and will never go back to it again.
In closing, I have to say Thank you to my hubby Dale, who put up with me during my quit. When I was still confused and not doing very well, he would just look at me and say, "Your lawn mower won't crank." As corny as it sounds, his point was that one excuse is as good as the next. He was right, and today Maw-maw is smoke free. They say you do it for yourself. I guess I did, but the picture of me and Cody still looks up at me as I type these words, and his smile is My World.
ForMyCodyForMyCody's Personal Quote