Outside of Forever

Despairing the Nicodemon

A Poem by Gail C. Berreitter

My heart stopped as I turned and left
I never thought I would just walk away
Leaving me with uncontrolled emotions
Shadows sightlessly crisscrossing my mind
Breathless movements in syncopated time.

Certainly death would have been much sweeter!
No more wonderful and romantic thoughts
Invading my ever-watchful day dreams
Caressing the depths of my soul at night
Assaulting the desires of my life.

Cautiously silent footsteps of despair
Allow muddled expressions to surface
And leave me in a desolate wasteland
Doubting my own minuscule existence
Searching for significance and balance.

I try to call to myself to please stop
But the words catch on a lump in my throat
Like a fire raging out of control
Forcing my lying soul’s devastation
To deny my own worldly salvation.

I reach out to you with tear drops streaming
Begging silently for you to return
Acknowledging the destructive forces
That wreaked all havoc upon our lives
And forever cut through the binding ties.

Deadly silence pervades the stagnant air
Running deep in the canyon of my mind
As murky waters cloud reality
I rise, spirit and body together
Walking towards the outside of forever.

© Gail Berreitter

More poetry from Gail:
Striking and Pretty from Badly Vile
Good Things to be Missing
From Loss Comes Strength
Gail at 11 Months Smoke Free