Dear Nicotine...

"Oh nicotine, you're evil, and I hope your slow death hurts like hell."

Dear Nicotine,

It's with great discomfort that I must write this letter to tell you I'm not coming back. The trial separation over the last 17 days has opened my eyes to just how one-sided our relationship has always been.

I will not lie and say that I've not thought about you every day, many times a day since we were last together, but I'm missing you less and less and beginning to resent you more and more.

Ok, so maybe I've replaced you with chocolate, cursing and random fits of banging my head against the wall until I black out or the neighbors call the cops, but despite this temporary madness I've had the courage to take my life back and know that I will forever more live each day on MY OWN terms.

Look, we were just kids when we met and it's not your fault, it's mine. You are what you are, poison. You never claimed to be anything other than cancer, heart disease, tooth decay and 15 million other things I didn't want. I was just young and naive and now, as difficult as it may be, I'm letting you go. No, I'm not letting you go, I'm ripping you out of my chest piece by piece and I'm relishing the pain of separation. Each pang is a reminder of your hold on me failing, your grip loosening and your imminent demise approaching.

Yes, I know you're thinking that I will miss you so much that I'll come crawling back on all fours but you underestimate my intelligence. I don't want you at all. I never have wanted you. All along you've been the one begging me to take you in.

Well, worm, times have changed. I've torn you out and now you lay on the ground before me a withering mess of cancerous, heart diseased, tooth decaying misery. Such an ugly creature you are. To see you now for what you truly are fills me with wonder. How could I ever have been seduced by something so disgusting?

Oh nicotine, you're evil, and I hope your slow death hurts like hell. When you're finally dead I'm going to throw a party on your carcass and dance it into the dirt.

Bye now.

~socaljr~