My Goodbye to Nic

A Goodbye to Cigarettes

Dear Nic,

Wow...I can't believe you still remember me. After 10 1/2 months, you're still thinking of me and still wanting me back. Even with all the millions of other people who are dying to be with you ...you still think of me.

It's been so long since we've touched and since I've held you. I can remember how you smell and taste, but it doesn't bring the memories I thought it would. I thought I was so in love with you...I thought I needed you so very badly, but now when I think about you, I only think about the deceit, the lies, the hate, the hurt, and the disease. I think about how long it took me - about the 25 years of my life that you took - about the time I gave to you only so you could take it back. How you wasted my time; how others knew; how some tried to tell me, how I believed you above all. How wrong I was, but how well you lied.

I was too young and too naive....I wish I knew then, as a child, what I found out later as an adult. I must confess, though, that even when I found out the truth, I shed myself from it. I wasn't ready to face the pain that I would feel, the lies that I knew were right there....I wasn't brave enough. I'm sorry that it took me so very long to face the facts....to face life.

I don't need you anymore. In fact, I don't want you anymore. I have a new set of friends. Friends that have taught me that I can stand on my own; that I have the strength to live without you; that I will LIVE without you. Friends whom, I believe, you are somewhat familiar with as they hung out with you for a while as well. They are my friends, now, Nic, and I will protect them from you as they protect me from you - with my whole being; my heart; my soul.

Good riddance. You are no longer an option and you are not welcome in my life. I hate you with a passion & I love my forumily so very very much!

~Kae~ (Kae1996)

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Kae Quit Smoking 6 Months Ago
Kae's 2 Year Smoke Free Milestone