Smoking, My Ex Lover

A Letter to My Ex From an Ex Smoker's Viewpoint

How did I let it go this far? We were just friends. Nothing to be ashamed of. At first I just liked being by your side. Nothing more. I liked the way you looked from afar. As time went on we became more than friends. You asked me out and I gladly came along even paying the way. I felt no shame when around you. After all, not many people knew about you and me. That was the biggest hurdle at first; keeping you secret from my family who disapproved.

They all thought you would hurt me. How could that be, when you made me feel so good? When I was around you, I was in control. Or so I thought. Little did I know you are a control freak - willing to take over my life and you did.

I couldn’t go anywhere without you. You had me wrapped around your little finger. Bold you were, you wouldn’t leave me alone. You always had to be with me and my friends. I didn’t know then what a fool you would make out of me. How long was it going to go on - until I died? Would you have hovered over me like a black cloud for the rest of my life? You said you would be with me through health and sickness. And you were.

You and I got together in my young age, before I knew any better. I never got any warnings that stood out in my mind. Oh nothing that really made me notice what a bad character you were and will always be. I was attracted to your home with the large glass windows and the way you dressed. You turned me on with that red and white jacket all snug and comfortable looking. I wanted to be noticed so I walked towards you smiling shyly like a little girl. There were no restrictions on you to keep you from making your claim on my heart. You were free to choose who you wanted. You strutted your stuff under the lights so alluring.

I began to believe I couldn’t live without you. You had to be with me and no one else. I hated to share you with anyone. You were after my heart from the beginning. You got it alright. You squeezed it too tight. You wouldn’t let it loose. You wouldn’t give me freedom for many years. You stuck so close to me I couldn’t breathe. What are you, some sort of sadist?. Out to hurt anyone you can get your filthy hands on? I despise your maker, I know he is not the same as the God who made me.

I pity the person who took my place. She is probably a lot younger than I am. Less suspicious of your character. Will her friends approve of you? Once she sees what you have done to me and others like me, she will drop you like you are poison. And you better believe me when I say I will spread the word of your evil ways. I am not the only one who has seen you for the rotten devil that you are. All of your friends are just like you. So wrapped up in themselves they make no room to love others. She will leave you. Then and only then will she totally be happy and free like I am now.

Bye

~Maria~(Dopey123)
...who has been there and who will never go back...who has been inspired throughout this writing by others who also have been there. Thank you for your points of view, they have opened by eyes.