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Desperate to Smoke and Desperate to Quit

Lesly's Story


Updated July 12, 2014

Desperate to Smoke and Desperate to Quit
Hiroshi Watanabe/Digital Vision/Getty Images Desperate to Smoke and Desperate to Quit


About.com Smoking Cessation support forum member Lesly beautifully illustrates the angst most long-term smokers feel.  We want to quit smoking so badly, yet feel emotionally tied to the rituals that we have built up around tobacco use.  

Lesly wrote the following piece at three years smoke-free.  Thanks for sharing Lesly, and congratulations on your success with smoking cessation.

From Lesly:

Three years ago I was a desperate woman.

I was desperate to quit smoking – I was desperate to smoke.

I was sick to death of smoking – I loved to smoke.

I hated how I smelled – I loved the smell of my smokes.

I hated the burn holes, fears, sickness – I loved the rituals.

I hated being told I should quit - I knew I should quit.

Most of all – I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I hated feeling stupid. Bottom line. So – I jumped off the teeter-totter and jumped into the forum’s smober boat with both feet. I clung desperately to the lifelines thrown to me and I held on with all my might through the storms (heck, more like hurricanes) that followed.

I held on with both hands and all my heart to one thing that a man who was one of my dearest friends told me. He told me this:

  • You think you love to smoke and you think it is so important to your happiness, but when you quit (and I know you will), you will find out that all that happiness associated with smoking is a lie. It’s a cheap carnival trick. It is nothing more than smoke and mirrors.

Guess what? He was right! There is not one thing in my life that I can’t do better without a cigarette hanging out of my mouth – well, except maybe applying eyeliner. Ha ha – I am SO kidding! Anyway, one of my greatest sorrows is that he died before I found the courage to quit smoking.

Quitting is hard – it takes effort, determination and commitment, but it can be done. You need to be brutally honest with yourself, though, and you cannot quit by continuing to smoke. You have to stop! Not one – not one puff and no excuses.

There is a sign in my gym that motivates me. I’ll try to recreate it for you.

The Ten Steps to Success 

1. Try

2. Try again

3. Try harder

4. Try tomorrow

5.Try thinking about what has worked in the past

6. Try and ask someone who has done it

7. Try and figure out what is not working

8. Try it a different way

9. Try it once more

10. Don't stop trying!

The longest journey has to start with one simple, tiny step. I took my first step three years ago today, and I have never regretted it.


More from Lesly:
Lesly's Quit Smoking Story
Lesly's 6 month Milestone
Lesly's 1 Year Milestone
Lesly's 2 Year Milestone
Book Review - The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr

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