Ben's One Year Milestone

It is with honor that I can now announce that I have now completed my first 365 days without smoking. I can easily say it has been one of the more memorable years of my life, filled with tremendous highs and brutal lows. For many reasons it will be a period I will never forget, because of the things I learned about myself and life as well.

Normally in these milestone posts we are supposed to thank all the people here who have helped get us to this point, and I will get to that later, but I seldom hear anybody thank the one person who is really responsible for our success, and that’s ourselves. I like to think I am one of the most modest people around, but I think this is one time when we should put that aside and really appreciate what we have accomplished for ourselves.

I know for a fact that cessation is the single biggest and hardest things I will ever accomplish, and while we get tons of great support here from some fabulous people all over the world, the most vicious fights in this battle are waged while we are totally alone. Alone while stuck in traffic. Alone after an awful day at work. Alone at 2 am when sleep won't come. Alone when our flesh is crawling and our brain is begging for just one little thing. Alone because our old smoking friends can't help. Alone because our non-smoking friends don't understand.

Alone.

Those are the times it would have been really easy to light up and make all the pain and fog and frustration all go away, but something stops us.

I credit most of my success on something that I was denying for years, that my smoking was just a bad habit and not an addiction. I used to avoid new quitters at all costs and would change the tv channel at the first sign of a non-smoking add or NRT. Plain old denial. Once I came here to the forum and accepted my addiction for what it was, I was able to put together a game plan. I found valuable information here and un-waivering support and compassion 24 hours a day.

I know this addiction will be with me forever, like a dried up nasty sponge deep in the back of my mind that requires only one puff to take over my life again..To quote a great movie:

“...this demon can't be bargained with, It can't be reasoned with, It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, EVER.”

Early on it probes us constantly, looking for a weakness in our fragile state, but we fight and we win one small battle at a time, gaining strength and confidence. It even invades our dreams; we wake scared and guilt ridden. The good news is nicotine addiction can be beaten; I see it done here everyday, with myself and with all of you.

I am a big believer in the idea that cessation is its own reward, but since I have earned this key I think I will see just how many doors it will open, I know it helped open the door to the gym, which I love and go to regularly and that in turn is opening other doors. The possibilities are endless, all because we stopped smoking.

I can't go without saying thank you to Terry and the rest of our moderators. I know your job is not always an easy one sometimes but I hope you all know what a difference you are making in many peoples lives on a daily bases...how many people can say that?

Go open some doors people.

Love and thanks to all, Ben