Sometimes I’d ponder the latest, greatest medication or method designed to miraculously set you free of the nicotine monkey just long enough to realize that I was scared to death of quitting and that nothing was going to stop this habit without a lot of diligent effort and self discipline. It was much easier to buy a pack and keep on smoking like a fool.
A New Quit and a New Attitude
This time I had a plan to win the battle with nicotine. I got hypnotized twice in the first two weeks, which helped me get a grasp on the notion that I controlled the addiction, not the nicotine. I came back to the About.com Smoking Cessation Forum and read and typed, and read and typed.I re-learned about the power of nicotine addiction, about what it takes to quit, what to expect during the initial days and weeks, and most importantly commiserated, testified, and listened to people from all over the world in the same boat as me – folks just like me who were struggling to be free.
I walked off the urges and cravings on my breaks, chewed gum, ate hard candy, drank lots of water, and read stories of sick people gasping for air but still smoking. I made myself believe that smoking put me in a lower class of "fools" who had to go outside in the cold at a party and come back in stinking and shivering. I convinced myself that if I ever took another puff off of a cigarette that I’d never be able to quit again.
I know for certain that I never want to experience those first few days of physical withdrawal from nicotine or the weeks and months of struggling with that foolish voice in my head preaching about how good that smoke would be.
"Mind when you throw your cigarette. Be sure that you don’t get it wet. Because when they’re wet and broken, it’s so hard to smoke ‘em. Yes sir I’m a fool ‘bout a cigarette."
A year and two weeks after my last cigarette, I still crave the nicotine, but I’m no longer a Fool for a Cigarette. I still have to make my mind up every day that I just can’t dabble or play around with this scary stuff that makes you throw all your money and caution to the wind for another puff.
I still need frequent reminders that one drag for me would mean a sure and certain end to all of the hard work it’s taken to get here and I’d be right back on the nicotine train, going to a convenience store at 2 am to throw away my hard earned money on something that stinks and shortens my life. Lord I (was) a fool for a cigarette.
All of the good folks on the About.com Smoking Cessation Forum will tell you how hard it is to quit, how it’s a struggle, a fight, and just downright painful at times to give up this nasty habit. They all have a common purpose and that’s freedom from nicotine addiction. They can tell you how important it is to take the Monday NOPE (Not One Puff Ever) pledge, or they can help reassure you that it eventually gets easier and the cravings ebb with time.
Even though I don’t frequent the forum as much as I did, all it takes is a stressful situation to send me back there to read posts from people who are still struggling with the addiction or are no longer struggling but offering their time and wisdom to help others along in their quit journey. Some of these good folks have dedicated their lives to helping others overcome the addiction.
I’ve been overwhelmed and encouraged by all of the positive responses from people congratulating me on my year milestone – celebrating with me, slapping me on the back, and confirming just how liberating it is to finally be free.
I know that I have to keep a constant eye on the nicodemon’s ugly presence, that I have to stay diligent and continue to resist the urges, and most importantly have to "believe" that I can succeed in my quest to never again be a Fool for a Cigarette!
Bill Ledbetter
October 6, 2010
I always tell folks that smoking cessation is a lot like constructing a new home. Year one is all about building the foundation. It is important take your time to do it right so that it will support your house without cracking.
Year two is about letting that foundation settle and dry...and building the new home on top of it.
Year three is about moving in and going on with your new life, relaxed and secure in your new home.
Cessation is a journey, not a race. Take the time to let it become a part of who you are, and the urges to smoke will fade away until they are no longer a part of the picture.
Congratulations, Bill. Don't worry about those thoughts of smoking - acknowledge and release them as they surface and keep your sights on that new home you're building. You are on your way.
