Terri's Quit Smoking Story

For many of us, the habit of smoking was so overpowering and enslaving that breaking free of it brings on a re-birth of sorts. We emerge from the ashes of nicotine addiction changed, often in profound ways. Terri's quit story is a beautiful example of this transformation, and her words are sure to inspire you. Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Terri.

As a Christmas gift to each other and to ourselves, my husband and I put smoking behind us. As with most things we do, our journeys were different. My husband put out his last smoke and moved on. He quit quietly, never discussing the process or celebrating milestones. I, on the other hand, logged onto this fantastic site multiple times a day to read, post and get the encouragement and support I knew I would need to succeed in recovering from nicotine addiction. Although our ways were different, we did get support from one another in that we were quitting together. We both wanted this to be the last time we quit smoking, and we didn't want to let the other down. I am so proud of my husband and happy that he found his way to go the distance with me this past year.

Several Quit Attempts

I've attempted to stop smoking numerous times during the last 30 years. Some periods of smoking cessation were fairly long -- 6 years, 2 years, 10 months, 6 months. But, during each of those quit attempts, I never thought that I was really finished with smoking. I felt like a smoker who was not smoking.

I loved how I felt when I wasn't smoking. I felt healthier and was relieved of the fear and worry that was always in the back of my mind about getting sick from smoking. I said the words "I don't smoke." But deep inside, things were different. I felt an emptiness without my cigarettes that did not go away entirely, and eventually, I would find a sufficient "reason" to start smoking again.

The last time I visited this forum was two years ago. I quit smoking for almost 10 months that time before I seduced myself into returning to the habit. During that quit attempt, I began the work of learning how to "change my mind" about smoking. I learned about the effects of smoking, the nature of nicotine addiction, and how nicotine and other chemicals affected my brain, and in my case, my immune system. I did such a great job at educating myself and changing my relationship with smoking, I was miserable when I picked up again.

I knew that I had begun to crack the secret to success with my last quit, and vowed to tackle it again the next time around. I knew that the key for me was in Terry’s mantra:

"If you want to change your life, change your mind."

That phrase kept coming into my head. What was I missing? I played with the words, "If you want to change your life, change your mind...if you want to change your mind, change your life." Instead of living like a smoker who is no longer smoking, I decided to try living like a nonsmoker who would never want to smoke again. I smoked my last cigarette and recommitted. I refused to look back (there is nothing there of value — only disease) and embraced a nonsmoking lifestyle.

Success at Last

I was an athlete in high school and college and maintained some activities like hiking, camping and cross country skiing. Smoking eventually took those pastimes away though, so once I got through the first few weeks of smoking cessation, I started to exercise. It was brutal. I could walk just 15 minutes before I was done in. I'd do 10 or 15 minutes of a Pilates DVD and would feel it for days. I set goals: 6 glasses of water a day; exercise 3 days a week, then 4 days, then 5. With some time into my new regimen, I added a multivitamin. I joined a gym.

I easily do an hour of cardio now, along with the rest of my workout. It is amazing. During previous quit attempts, I would obsess about how long it had been since I'd quit smoking and would wonder, "When will I feel better?"

This time around, I focused on creating a new lifestyle. With practice, my fitness increased, and I could do more. Physical improvements helped my mental state, and soon I began to make other good choices for myself. I cut coffee consumption from 5 or more cups a day to one in the morning -- sometimes none. I cut out sugar except for special occasions. I started eating healthier. The mantra was becoming a circle of balance for me:

"If you want to change your life, change your mind. If you want to change your mind, change your life."

It is difficult for me to tell which really comes first anymore as they both feed into one another. I know that I will never smoke again because I truly have changed my mind about who I am. I am a nonsmoker, and no matter what triggers might arise, my choice will be NOPE.

I love having more time with my family and for myself. I love this new life, and am so grateful for the opportunity to live it to the fullest. I know that I would never have made it without this forum and the support of my fellow quitters. With each attempt since 2001, I was always greeted warmly when I came back here and was encouraged through each stage of my quit. My fitness buddies were tremendous at knowing just what to say when my knee kept me from working out and my thyroid levels made my muscles cramp. I would not be here without their support.

For those of you just starting out, quitting is doable, and you will find much more on this journey than just leaving cigarettes behind.