The ultrasound showed a strong heart beat. Nothing was certain, but it was a good sign and that was all I needed. After spending 12 hours in the E.R., I was released to bed rest and a week off work. When we got home, I put away the ash trays and paul started to smoke outside. The first week was easy, but as my hormones raged, so did my cravings, but I held my ground and kept my word. NO SMOKING!!
My pregnancy was plagued with every conceivable problem, but on October 12th, 2003, Hannah Mackenzie came screaming into the world and I too was reborn. I continued to do well with my quit because I breast fed and I had to maintain it because I could'nt smoke and breast feed; after all, that would hurt my girl. On April 27th, I weaned Hannah and on April 28th I began to crave again. Gosh, for someone who was over a year into their quit, I was FREAKING OUT!!! I started to have smoking dreams. I began to remember how much I enjoyed my morning cigarette. I told myself that if I started smoking again, I would lose some of my extra weight...I was suffering! Paul still smokes and it was driving me mad, still does.
On May 24th, 2003, I find this place and I feel relief for the first time in a long while. To be among others who feel my pain and who are fighting the same battle. I see them win every day. I see them have their ups and their downs. I relate to them, they to me. They are my rocks and my strength on the days when I just don't think I can make it through.
Here I am One Year, three months, six days, 11 hours, 19 minutes and 57 seconds. 13934 cigarettes not smoked, saving $5,573.16. Life saved: 6 weeks, 6 days, 9 hours, 10 minutes
in, and I am stronger than ever.Thank you all so much.
I'm a tad foolish at the best of times, and I tend to use my sense of humor as a mask to see myself through, but it works and it helps to be able to laugh at yourself even when you're hurting. A lot of you say I make you laugh, and that makes me so proud because if I can get you to laugh instead of cry, then I am doing well. Thanks again for all your support!!!
Is anyone still reading? This is over now...y'all can go home or turn off your PC's. That's it...why are you still reading?
You still here? Oh my nerves...well...as long as you're staying anyway, why don't you wipe the drool off your chin, throw some cold water on your face and wake yourself up! Anyone for tea?
Cyndie - Mad Hatter