Lorilu's Quit Story

"I quit for my mom, I quit for my kids, but most of all, I quit for ME."

In October 2003 my mother, at the age of 78, was diagnosed with terminal lung disease (I hate the word cancer) and told it didn’t matter whether she smoked or not, she was going to die. She died in February.

The day before she died, somehow mysteriously (no one really knows why – some say static electricity; others say she lit a smoke) her oxygen tank caught on fire and blew up in her face. I raced to the hospital where I saw my mother, my mommy, the woman who took care of me my whole life, laying in a bed with her face looking like a mess of burnt charcoal, almost like if you touched it, it would just crumble up and be gone all together.

I sat there holding her hands as she moaned with what must have been the most excruciating pain she had ever experienced and cried and cried and cried. I was helpless to help her. This was the hardest day of my life. I remember walking out into the hallway where my brother and sister-in-law were to talk to the doctor. He looked at all of us and said "If you smoke, this is your future."

Needless to say, the only thing at this point they could do for my mom was fill her with morphine. She died in the ambulance on the way home from the burn unit.

I am sorry, and please forgive me for the gruesomeness of the latter part of my story. I just could not leave that part out. I knew on that day that somehow, some way I needed to, had to quit smoking. You would think after all of that I would have quit right then and there, but I didn’t. I kept smoking up until the day my husband walked in and said,

"That’s it, when our packs are gone, we quit."

I will forever and always be grateful to my husband for that and now we are both non smokers.

If I ever get cravings or even think for a minute about going back to smoking, I think about my mom.

I think about how much I miss her.

I think about the pain she had to endure before she died.

I think about the fact that even if there may be a chance that if I continue smoking, I might be one of the very few who doesn't get a horrible disease from smoking - I NEVER want to take that chance - I never want my boys to ever experience what I did the day my mother died, ever.

I guess you could say I quit for my mom; I quit for my kids; but most of all, and I had to really realize this, I quit for ME.

And now, at the end of this long story, I have to say that I honestly believe I have successfully quit because of the support of this forum and the wonderful women of the WOS. You are all strong. You are all beautiful. You are all inspiring and worthy of ALL of the desires of your heart. I am truly happy for this precious gift from God – the gift of all of you.

~Lorilu~

Lorilu's 18 Month Smoke Free Milestone