Tweety's Quit Smoking Story

"I still grieve a bit, but I don't want those days back. I feel better. "

Flash forward to 2004. In September, I decided that it was time to quit smoking. It would be nice, wouldn't it? But, I lacked conviction...I found the forum on september 21st. I started living here, and I loved every minute of it, but I still had trouble with my quit. I had access to the forum at work, but not at home, and nights and weekends were always my downfall. So, I slunk back to the forum, having caved again, and got many much needed kicks in the butt from the WOS. On october 27th, I smoked like a chimney, and right at midnight, I crushed out that last cigarette.

I took a deep breath and bit the bullet. I was armed with Margaret's phone number for nights and weekends, and would check in with her regularly until I got internet access at home. I got assignments from my gemella about things to write over the weekend and post on monday mornings when I got to work. I cried more than I had in years. I struggled and I screamed and I fought it with everything I had. I was addicted to my inhaler, but at least I wasn't smoking.

About 5 weeks in, I started having anxiety attacks, and xanax came to the rescue, as well as the wonderful people on the forum. I joined sake, and made a signature, and was inducted early into the women of strength. I typed my little fingers off. I posted everywhere, to everyone, through every craving.

I have made wonderful friends, and have met several of them in person. The reunion in Detroit was one of the most fun things I've ever done.

All the while, I have had smoking and cigarettes thrust at me. I work on a reservation, and smokes are cheap here. Offering tobacco is a sign of respect, and people will, to this day, light cigarettes for me and hand them to me, though I ask them not to. I wave them like a magic wand, and then put them out and go back to work. (I still have to go out with the smokers or I don't know anything that's happening at work...smokers have the best inside information and grapevine).

I still struggle. I'm not completely comfortable in my new nonsmoking skin. I still grieve a bit, but I don't want those days back. I feel better. I smell better. I look better. I was able to have my surgery without complications. I have posted more in a year than anyone else, and I love the person I have become. Like any worthwhile accomplishment, this has been hard, but I wouldn't trade a minute of it, because it has truly shaped me. I love myself more than ever.

Thank you all for everything. Anna, the chats are awesome. Gemella, well, you're my gemella...what else is there? Kae and Lolu...what fun we have had. Carri, chica, you've been here with me every step of the way. Dave, for picking me up at the airport, I am eternally grateful. Margaret, you know why. Kerri, thanks for the kick in the butt. Deb (sweet wise portia) for the calls and my wos name. and to all the people that I love and know I am forgetting, I'm soooo sorry I can't name you all. But, you are all important to me.

I know I haven't been around as much as usual. Part of that is because the other life has become incredibly busy. Part is that I get wonky around milestones. and part is that I don't have that rabid need to be on the forum 24/7 any more. I love it, and now that the big milestone is over, I'll probably be around more often...I know I'm weird. but, I'm growing up, and that's a good thing.

So, for those of you who are still reading...thanks! And for those newbies, just keep holding on. It gets better. We're not just saying that, it truly does happen. You can do it.

One year, 20 hours, 17 minutes and 53 seconds. 7316 cigarettes not smoked, saving $610.96. Life saved: 3 weeks, 4 days, 9 hours, 40 minutes.

Heather (TweetyBard)
11 Months and Goodbye - Tweety's goodbye to smoking

Published 11-27-2005