Sue Quit Smoking One Year Ago

Wow, I am in shock. One year just doesn't seem possible, yet here I am!

I was so excited that first month. Those craves were not going to bring me down. The second month my excitement started to waiver. And by the third month I was just plain worn out. I was so tired of fighting this addiction. I was angry, depressed, and so out of sorts. Was this the way life was going to be from now on? I gave up smoking to feel like this? I started to forget why I wanted to quit. And then Mary told me to fake it till I made it. Wow, was she right...love you dear lady for that incredible advice.

I did give up smoking when my kids were toddlers. My daughter called them "cigoffs". She used to watch me so intently. I knew I had to quit for my kids, so I did. I just couldn't be a bad influence on them anymore. Fast forward a few years. My brother-in-law was a paleontologist who traveled the world. He rolled his own...it was easier and lasted longer. I was fascinated by it. It smelled very different...almost sweet in a sickening sort of way. Well, of course I decided I just had to try one...just one. Why didn't anyone teach me about NOPE then? Every time I hugged the kids they told me I smelled like Uncle Will. It broke my heart hearing that, but I still continued smoking.

Six years ago, my mom died of lung cancer. Yes, she smoked. We got the call from my dad in the middle of the night saying to come now...they lived in another state. So what did I do? I put the patch on only to take it off when I got back home. It was so difficult seeing her taken off life support. I knew I should quit. I wanted to quit. But I was scared. The thought of never smoking again was depressing. So I remained a closet smoker, disgusted with myself.

Four years ago Will died. He had mouth cancer from smoking and chewing. He also lived out of state and tried to keep it from us. He was to young and so full of life. It's a tragic story that I won't go into. My husband and son went to see him 3 weeks before he died. I couldn't bare to see someone else dying from this addiction.

This time I had to quit. But how? My whole life was centered around smoking. When I was stressed, I smoked. When I was bored, I smoked. How would I ever be happy without it? I cried for my mom, Will and also for myself for being such a coward. At that moment I hated myself. Why was this so hard this time?

Three years ago I was told I needed gum surgery; a bone transplant for one molar. Ok, no big deal. However, I was told I had to quit smoking. Now if I didn't quit for the death of two family members, why would I quit for this? But I would quit soon...right. Well, my continued smoking caused so much bone loss that my entire mouth needed surgery.

I was ready, or so I thought. I wore the patch only to take it off at night to smoke. This was getting me nowhere. I scheduled the surgery. Three days before, I put the patch back on. Yes, I was cutting it close. The surgery went well and just knowing that I had been quit for one week was so exciting. I had a horrible smokers cough that was already gone. The benefits had already begun. And this was only a glimpse of things to come. I was staying quit no matter what!

They have AA and drug rehabs but nothing for people addicted to nicotine. I found this forum two weeks into my quit. At first I just read everything, which is key. With knowledge comes power. I finally found the courage to introduce myself. What a wonderful outpouring of caring people! I had found a place where everyone understood what I was going through.

I have learned so much here. If you want to quit you have to change your mindset and always remember NOPE. But I won't lie. This was very difficult for me. There were days that I just didn't want to get out of bed to fight this. It was sucking all the energy out of me. I just took it day by day, sometimes hanging on for dear life. I used to sit on the bathroom floor and cry with the vent fan on so no one would hear me. But I wasn't going to give up. I hated this addiction.

Around my fifth month, I finally found the peace I had heard so much about. Today, smoking is no longer an option. I don't have any desire whatsoever to smoke. I can finally live my life without planning when and where I can smoke. I can go to the movies, parties, anything. I am FREE and loving every minute of it.

We are such a diverse family here. But we all have the same goal...this demon has got to go. Just make the commitment to quit smoking and do it. It does get better, but not without a fight. However, it is so well worth the end result. I have made such dear friends here.

One year, 23 hours, 44 minutes and 18 seconds. 7319 cigarettes not smoked, saving $731.98. Life saved: 3 weeks, 4 days, 9 hours, 55 minutes.