I decided that I would post a log of my first smoke free day to inspire myself and others who are probably going through the same thing. For me, making it a day without cigarettes feels like a huge accomplishment, and the fact that it is such a huge accomplishment speaks to how addicted I really am.
Twenty to twenty-five cigarettes a day for thirteen years, and I haven't gone one day without a cigarette in the last three years. Not one day... I had gotten to the point where I didnt think I could make it through a normal day without smoking. I am proud to say that I have now done it and TODAY is therefore a milestone for me.
Here are all of the things I have done without the cigarettes since yesterday; things that I did not think I could do:
- I sat by the computer all day working (and posting...)
- I had a glass of wine and a wonderful dinner with my husband at an Indian restaurant. Wonderful spices... the wine complemented the meal and I made it without stepping out for a cigarette.
- I had a long phone conversation with a friend, and actually enjoyed it without smoking.
- I walked to work without smoking.
- I had breaks without smoking. I realized that a lot of the reason I smoke during breaks is because I dont know what else to do. Yesterday I went and bought a good cup of coffee instead.
- I made a decision I was puzzling over without smoking. I forced myself to let the craving go, knowing I do not make better decisions, nor think more clearly with a cigarette.
- I had inspiring thoughts and discussed these with someone without having a cigarette. Did it in the hallway, rather than asking the person if we could step outside so I could have a cigarette. BIG accomplishment for me.
- I cried without smoking. When I read the stories on whyquit.com, I cried, and I was able to go through the motions without turning to cigarettes.
- I took a bath without smoking. I used to (note the past tense) love to smoke in the bath.
- I went to the store without buying cigarettes! HUGE accomplishment. Instead I followed other forum members advice, and bought different kinds of herbal teas and cinnamon sticks. Thanks for that advice; it really helps. Cinnamon sticks are also hollow so you can kind of suck air through them, which really helped me.
- I was actually relatively comfortable without smoking (although I did decide to wear the patch for the first week as I was unsure I would get through it without that.
- I got through last night after waking up at 4am, due to awkward dreams (nightmare like) and twisting and turning in bed until 6am.. I got by without getting up to have that one ciggy I used to think would fix it.
- I woke up this morning and had my first cup of coffee without smoking.
- I realize that I can breathe, smell, experience, talk, share, be present without the cigarettes!
My first milestone will be today, as I start my second day as a non-smoker. I so appreciate this forum and everybody taking time out of their day to support others, I have always said this to my friends who don't smoke when they tell me to just quit:
"You dont get it, only a smoker would understand."