My First Smoke Free Day

"I didnt think I could make it through a normal day without smoking."

I woke up this morning, my usual instinct telling me to reach for that cigarette with my first cup of coffee. I lay in bed for a minute or two panicking, wondering how I would get through the first hours of my day. Then I remembered the forum, and it made me want to get out of bed and sit down to read and post as a morning ritual rather than reaching for that cigarette.

I decided that I would post a log of my first smoke free day to inspire myself and others who are probably going through the same thing. For me, making it a day without cigarettes feels like a huge accomplishment, and the fact that it is such a huge accomplishment speaks to how addicted I really am.

Twenty to twenty-five cigarettes a day for thirteen years, and I haven't gone one day without a cigarette in the last three years. Not one day... I had gotten to the point where I didnt think I could make it through a normal day without smoking. I am proud to say that I have now done it and TODAY is therefore a milestone for me.

Here are all of the things I have done without the cigarettes since yesterday; things that I did not think I could do:

• I sat by the computer all day working (and posting...)

• I had a glass of wine and a wonderful dinner with my husband at an Indian restaurant. Wonderful spices... the wine complemented the meal and I made it without stepping out for a cigarette.

• I had a long phone conversation with a friend, and actually enjoyed it without smoking.

• I walked to work without smoking.

• I had breaks without smoking. I realized that a lot of the reason I smoke during breaks is because I dont know what else to do. Yesterday I went and bought a good cup of coffee instead.

• I made a decision I was puzzling over without smoking. I forced myself to let the craving go, knowing I do not make better decisions, nor think more clearly with a cigarette.

• I had inspiring thoughts and discussed these with someone without having a cigarette. Did it in the hallway, rather than asking the person if we could step outside so I could have a cigarette. BIG accomplishment for me.

• I cried without smoking. When I read the stories on whyquit.com, I cried, and I was able to go through the motions without turning to cigarettes.

• I took a bath without smoking. I used to (note the past tense) love to smoke in the bath.

• I went to the store without buying cigarettes! HUGE accomplishment. Instead I followed other forum members advice, and bought different kinds of herbal teas and cinnamon sticks. Thanks for that advice; it really helps. Cinnamon sticks are also hollow so you can kind of suck air through them, which really helped me.

• I was actually relatively comfortable without smoking (although I did decide to wear the patch for the first week as I was unsure I would get through it without that.

• I got through last night after waking up at 4am, due to awkward dreams (nightmare like) and twisting and turning in bed until 6am.. I got by without getting up to have that one ciggy I used to think would fix it.

• I woke up this morning and had my first cup of coffee without smoking.

• I realize that I can breathe, smell, experience, talk, share, be present without the cigarettes!

I hope my words can be inspiring to others who are struggling through their first week of smoking cessation. If anybody recognize themselves in the description of my day, or also feel liberated by the fact that they are coping with the smaller things they always thought they needed the cigarettes to do, please take the time to write it down as I have. It's therapeutic!

My first milestone will be today, as I start my second day as a non-smoker. I so appreciate this forum and everybody taking time out of their day to support others, I have always said this to my friends who don't smoke when they tell me to just quit:

"You dont get it, only a smoker would understand."

Determined