My smoking background
I smoked for almost 30 years. I started when I was 13. My mother would always ask me to light her a cigarette when she was driving. One day I just lit one for myself and that was my beginning.
When I was younger, all my friends smoked. There was a camaraderie and a feeling of belonging. I smoked through both my pregnancies and while my children were growing up, never realizing the damage I may be causing them. My mother smoked and I was fine, right? My brother suffered a heart attack from a blood clot, prior to that he smoked.
You could smoke just about anywhere then...in restaurants, bars, anywhere.
How I relapsed
I have been trying to quit since Dec 2009. I went for 18 days and then the "junkie" thinking started. I missed my friends, and going out to my local bar. I could feel my resolve weakening. After 18 days of not smoking, I started again. I felt horrible. I let everyone who was supporting me down, but most of all I let myself down. Since then, I have been on a roller coaster ride, on again, off again. I was constantly torn between smoking and not smoking.
At this point, I am four days off smoking.Lessons learned
I have learned that I do have the willpower to quit smoking and to take this slow. This site has helped me immensely. I have learned that the cravings pass, that each minute I get through is an accomplishment. I am trying not to look too far into the future but look forward to when everything is not so raw.Terry Martin, Smoking Cessation Guide, says:
Most of us who have tried to quit smoking can identify with Becky's account. Early cessation is intense, and feelings of sadness, coupled with thoughts of smoking can make it very easy to relapse.In order to manage the challenges that come with nicotine withdrawal successfully, education about what to expect and the support to get you through it is key.
Arm yourself with the right tools and lasting freedom from nicotine addiction can be yours.
