Giving Thanks

It is Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend. We had a beautifully healthy dinner of Coho Salmon with lemon butter, baby new potatoes with dill, fresh asparagus and spinach salad with low-fat mango dressing. AND a BIG ole' thick slice of ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. (Hey, ya gotta LIVE a little too, right?)

It is still a beautiful autumn day, the sky a clear and sharp blue, the leaves aflame and crunchy, gorgeous. There is much to be thankful for, I know. But the biggest one this year, is by far - is the obvious one. The gift I gave to myself and to everybody I love...another chance at life.

Although I am still so amazed at how long I've gone without a cigarette, I am equally amazed at how long I have smoked for. There are those huge things I'm thankful for, like not feeling literally choked by smoke (I have a picture in my head of the blue white noxious wisps forming two spindly hands that encircle my throat), and those nagging, terrifying pains in my chest that have now disappeared since I stopped forcing poison in my system.

But this is a light and happy holiday, so there are also those little things now gone from my life, that I am also very thankful for. I wonder if there are some you can relate to?

I'm thankful:

• That I don't have to spend as much money on pantyhose because of an errant ash or two.
• That I don't have to back up when I come in from outside and smoking. My clothes, particularly my coats, don't have that putrid sweet odor clinging to them.
• I'm not squinting to avoid burning my eyeballs from having to 'light up'.
• My heart doesn't thump, race or skip beats at night, when it should be slow and steady.
• I don't careen wildly all over the road if the lit end or 'cherry' from a cigarette happens to fall between the seats.
• I don't have blisters on my fingers from talking too much and not paying attention to the fact that I was burning myself.
• I can justify buying that expensive cream I've always wanted to try, or that lipstick that is just this side of two pricy, because I'm not spending a fortune on killing myself.
• I don't have to close my mind in denial whilst throwing out ashtrays filled of curled and blackened butts.
• I don't rip my lips from a cigarette butt that's gotten stuck and pulled.
• I don't have to buy in bulk because it's going to snow and how will I get more cigarettes if it's too cold and I don't have the car?
• I don't have to worry where I'm going to eat or meet up with friends once the non-smoking laws that are taking place rapidly come into effect.

Ah, there are so many things to be thankful for now that I don't smoke. If I were to list them all out, there would be hundreds, maybe even thousands. But most of all, there is one thing I'm thankful for that sums it all up:

I am just so darned thankful that I can breathe.