Around Christmas time in 2000, I started to look into other ways of quitting. I wasn't even sure what was out there, but I did know that tackling the nicotine addiction alone wasn't going to get me very far. I knew there was more to it than that, more to it than just 'kicking the habit' - but couldn't find any answers. I found one or two 'Stop smoking' sites on the Internet at About.com, and started to visit them and did a lot of reading up. It was all very helpful and interesting, but still I couldn't find the answer I was looking for. One day I ventured into a smoking cessation chatroom at About.com (my first ever time in a chatroom - and I was nervous!), and the first person I met in there was ddsteve(who went on to become my 'quitcoach'). In chatting to him I started to learn about cognitive quitting,(www.cognitivequitting.com) and about a very different way of tackling my smoking habit/behaviour.
I set a date to quit, and worked towards it, feeling very excited about regaining control over my life. I smoked my last cigarette on February 24th 2001, and enjoyed stubbing out that last one. I have a great memory of that cigarette - maybe because I was so keen to start my quit I had found I wasn't enjoying smoking any more, and that last one actually tasted rough and made me cough. Through Steve's knowledge, skills and support over the ensuing months I became comfortably - and I believe permanently - quit. Learning about my smoking behaviour and how to change my responses to smoking urge situations was the key. Learning how to understand what my body needed and addressing it, rather than making an automatic association with a cigarette was another. This time I was developing skills to take an active part in managing my quit instead of 'hanging in there' and hoping for the best.
I've had some amazing support throughout my quit, which is still there just as strongly, and this has made all the difference to me reaching this point. In previous quits I had never been able to last for longer than a few days, but this time I am not only determined to stay smoke free, but believe I now have a blueprint for staying quit - knowledge and skills to keep me on track. Best of all are the quitbuddies I've made along the way, some of whom have become good friends, and who've kept me going in some tough times. I now help other people online to quit smoking, through email and chat, and find it really rewarding.
I said at the outset that I used to think quitting was just about weaning myself off nicotine, and didn't appreciate that it was much more than that. I came to learn that smoking was bound up in most aspects of my daily life, that I'd spent my life hiding behind cigarettes, letting them mask my true feelings. Cigarettes started, punctuated and finished most things I did throughout my days. I used cigarettes as a response to everything I felt - joy, pain, sadness, excitement, fear, stress, apprehension. Once I quit I realised I was finding out so much about myself -who I am, how I really feel about thing, how I deal with things. I find out more about myself each day, and now I don't need to hide behind a cigarette to face a difficult situation. The stress/upset/anger etc I haven't miraculously disappeared from my life - but how I respond to and deal with them now has change beyond recognition...
Pam - Gemini2402
Pam's 2 Year Milestone
