Christine's One Year Smoke Free Milestone

Here I am at one year smoke free. What a year it has been. I had wanted to quit for quite some time, but never seemed to have the motivation. I had a physical back in November 2004, and my doctor gave me a prescription for the nicotine patch and bupropion. I filled them both and placed them on my desk at home. I wasn’t ready to quit smoking, so I didn’t start taking the bupropion, but knew when I was ready that it was there.

It wasn’t until early May that I decided I was ready. My husband was working and it was 10:30 at night. I was watching TV and both kids were sleeping. My son came wandering out into the living with tears streaming down his face. I thought he’d had a nightmare. No, that was not the case. I sat him on my lap and he said that I was going to die. I didn’t lie. I told him,

"Yes, I am going to die, but not for a very, very long time."

His answer was, "But you have black lungs."

That was all I needed hear. I had found my drive, my desire, and my motivation. I quit the next weekend.

I was on the computer looking for some quit smoking help during my first day quit and found the About.com smoking cessation forum. What a great welcome I received!

I made it four days smoke free and had to give a difficult performance review to one of my secretaries. I was shaking so badly that I went out and bought a pack. This secretary was giving me a hard time. She actually got worse throughout the year. She was out to get me fired, but her plan backfired. I’m lucky that people realized what she was up to and that she was actually burying herself with her lies. She is no longer one of my secretaries as of the middle of April, but enough about her.

It took me three days to smoke the pack that I had bought. At 6:05 a.m., Sunday, May 22, I smoked the last one from that pack. I was having nightmares from the patch and quit using it three days later. A couple of days after that I quit using the bupropion. I kept forgetting to take it. This new quit was pretty much cold turkey.

My kids were wonderful. My daughter wouldn’t let me out of her sight except to go to work. She was terrific. I changed my entire lifestyle. I wouldn’t go to a store without at least one of the kids. I didn’t carry enough cash to buy a pack. I paid for my gas at the pump. I started crocheting and knitting. I just kept myself busy.

It was fairly easy. I had some difficult times. It was just before Christmas that the stress was getting to me and the relapses that I was seeing on the forum were really bothering me. That’s when I took a break from the forum. Gary (gladistopped) corresponded with me via email and helped me through the difficult time. Since then, I have sailed right though to the one year mark.

Many of you saw my post a few weeks back where I was reaching out for some emotional support. I had nine teeth pulled and wear a partial now. I’m doing okay now, but I was an emotional wreck those first few days. I cried and cried and cried some more. That was tough for me. But through all of that, I never once craved a cigarette. I thank all who responded to my plea. It meant so much to me.

Since I joined this forum, I have met so many people. I have truly made some amazing friends. Tee, thank you so much for your kind words, your emails, and your gifts. You are an amazing lady and I can’t wait to see your speech tomorrow.

Kerri, thank you for all that you have done this past year. It was great meeting for lunch back in November and then again in February for your crochet lesson. I look forward to meeting again as do my kids.

If you truly want to quit smoking, you can. It takes drive, desire, and dedication. If you have those, you can quit. Just breathe deeply and no matter how bad that craving is, don’t give in. It truly does get easier. It was during the fifth week of my quit when I stopped thinking about wanting to smoke all the time. That was the major turning point for me.

All you newbies, stay strong. You can do it. All you oldies, thank you so much for your words of advice and support. You are what makes this forum work.