I finally made it! One year ago today, I kicked the habit.
I had been smoking on and off (mostly on) for forty-five years. In 1985 I quit smoking through the SmokeEnders program. At that time I was a three pack a day smoker. I didn't smoke for twelve years and I offically considered myself a non-smoker.
One night I was out with friends and thought that since I was a non-smoker I could just smoke one
socially. In spite of getting dizzy and a little sick to my stomach, all the so called "good thoughts" came back and within two weeks I became a smoker again. This time though, I stayed in the closet
. I was so embarrassed to admit to anyone that I'd gone back to smoking, and to be honest, being a closet smoker was a little adventurous. Reminded me of my school days, when I use to hide it from my parents.
Ironically, I went back to smoking two years after my father died of lung cancer
. Then the fun wore off and I realized that nicotine addiction
had kicked in fully. My thoughts from morning to night consisted of when I could have a cigarette. My days were planned according to my smoking needs. If I knew I wouldn't be able to smoke for the whole day, I would put a patch on and then rip it off at the my first opportunity to sneak a cigarette. Two years ago my sister at the age of forty-three developed throat cancer
and I knew I had to quit. Of course, I couldn't or should say wouldn't stop smoking.
Last year the effects of smoking were starting to hit me; the nagging cough, wheezing in my chest, palpitations and daily headaches. I finally felt ready to take control of this addiction again. I went online and did a search for "quitting smoking" I came across this site and read everything I could on smoking cessation. I set my quit date for November 5th.
I remember my first post generated such positive feed back, I felt I could actually do it this time. Unfortunately, I relapsed three days later, but never gave up coming to this forum
. I got back on the horse on November 15th and never looked back.
Quitting smoking is the best gift I've ever given myself and my family. My mantra has become NOPE
and whenever a craving hits, (still get them on occasion) I remember why I quit
and just how difficult it was to to kick this addiction.
To those of you just starting out, think about this: if a forty-five year hard core smoker can quit, anybody can. It takes a lot hard work and determination, but it is so worth it. I can honestly say I look at smokers with pity now instead envy and to this forum I would like to say "thank you" from the bottom of my heart.