Liz Reaches One Year Smoke Free

"Not smoking is the nicest thing I’ve ever done for myself ..."

A year ago I was sick and tired of smoking, frightened that I would never be able to stop and that I’d end up dying of some awful smoking related illness – probably my heart. This is what I what I wrote about smoking at that time:

• One cigarette leads to another and it’s a never ending cycle.
• It’s only a temporary fix, I need another one later.
• If I don’t stop I’ll always be caught up in smoking.
• It’s just a boring treadmill of fag, break, need a fag; fag, break, need a fag; fag, break, need a fag.
• The cigarette doesn’t actually improve anything and I always need another later.
• It’s so pointless.

Funnily enough, the times I thought would be difficult, weren’t too bad: Christmas, birthdays, sunbathing on the beach, parties and sneaking off for a puff at work. I thought any emotional trauma would send me reaching for the cigarettes, but I’ve had a lot of them and I still haven’t smoked.

I still want to smoke sometimes – but I can’t. Well actually I can but I choose not to, and for me that’s amazing. At last I am able to choose. And I think I may as well be a nonsmoker wanting to smoke as a smoker wanting to smoke - I always wanted a cigarette when I smoked so what’s new?!

Now I have no headaches, I don’t need to worry about smelling of smoke, there’s no need to take aspirin to thin my blood, no nicotine hangovers and I’m not getting depressed about smoking. I’ve also just been to Cornwall and swimming in the cold sea used to really hurt the ends of my fingers as they thawed out. Not anymore! My circulation must have improved dramatically.

Not smoking is the nicest thing I’ve ever done for myself – and so many people say how much better I look. My skin is clearer and my face uncreases more quickly in the morning!

You can do it, we can all do it – just take it step by step. I remember after my first day thinking "if I can do one day then I can do another one day", and before I knew it I had a mini heaven of stars – fantastic. NOPE is the only way. However much I want to smoke it’s NOPE. Even if it makes me cry with anger, frustration and missing those cigarettes. And it all adds up to a whole year without smoking. Something that I thought was impossible.

I have had 2 days when I haven’t thought about smoking once – it doesn’t sound much, but for me it’s a miracle! And I’m very happy for that. I’m not anti-smoking, I confess I still like the smell of it and I can envy the smokers – but it’s not for me anymore. The peace of mind that comes from knowing I’m not damaging my body by smoking is immense and it’s worth giving up the cigarettes for.

Thanks to all here on the forum, it’s a wonderful place to have - I love to read posts from those going before me and those behind and those starting their quit – what journeys we take.