Support From Those Who Have Never Smoked
While friends and family members are usually quick to encourage us to quit and are happy and proud of us when we do, their support often wanes in a short amount of time. They pat us on the back every day for a week or two, but after that, it's all but forgotten. We quit, right? Time to move on, then. They're not callous or uncaring, they just don't get it.
Those who have never known the intense pull of nicotine addiction don't understand that every single smoke-free day is a huge victory when we quit and that this goes on well beyond the first week, month, or even series of months.
Those Who Undermine Our Quit Programs
A lack of enthusiasm from nonsmoking friends and family members can be disappointing, but the negative attention our smoking friends sometimes give us can be downright destructive and hurtful.
Smoking Buddies - Friends or Foes?
The great majority of people who smoke desperately want to quit. They hate the need and enslavement that comes with nicotine addiction and whether voiced or not, they worry about the diseases associated with tobacco use. Most active smokers won't admit this -- they'll tell you (and themselves) they enjoy smoking, but the reality is they're stuck and they don't know how to get unstuck. They feel powerless to kick tobacco to the curb.
When we quit smoking, our smoking buddies are forced to look head-on at the fear and worry about smoking that they keep under wraps most of the time. And while they may be genuinely happy for us, they might also be grappling with an unspoken level of jealousy that we are doing something that deep down, they want to do too.
Keep this in mind when someone offers you a cigarette or a drag off of theirs, saying they won't tell if you cheat. Or when they say things like you're no fun anymore or you're bound to relapse eventually, don't be hurt. The reasons they cannot be supportive are always about their own issues, not yours.
Own Your Quit!
Whether we're trying to lose a few extra pounds, get our finances in order or quit smoking, success depends on our commitment to the task. We cannot hope to have long-lasting results in transforming our lives if we're doing it for someone else. It is only when the change we're after is solidly rooted in our own inner desire that we are in a position to succeed for the long term.
Quit smoking for yourself only, and the rest will fall into place. Don't let anyone shake your confidence as you move through the recovery process. You are on the right path, make no mistake!
A Word About Online Support
While we might not find the encouragement we need from friends and loved ones, support is an integral part of a successful quit program. Online support offers ex-smokers a couple of important advantages:
- The ability to connect with people at various stages of cessation, from the newly quit to those with years smoke-free.
- Support when you need it; regardless of the time of day or night, someone is usually online and available to help.
Remember: If you find yourself up against lack luster encouragement from loved ones or worse, active undermining of your quit program by another smoker, put your blinders on and pay no attention. You know that they just wish they could quit themselves or can't quite connect with the life-changing challenge that smoking cessation is for you.
Move forward with determination and confidence and keep at it. Your efforts will be rewarded with smoke-free benefits far beyond what you can imagine!