My Milestone
One year of freedom, forever grateful!
My Journey began in October 2003 when I lost my very best friend, my Mother. After Mom died of emphysema from smoking, every time I lit up, I knew I would have to stop smoking. I was haunted by the memory of her suffering and of my greatest loss.
How I've Gotten This Far
In October of 2005 I quit smoking in honor of Mom. I stopped smoking cold turkey on the anniversary date of her death. I was not prepared to do this after thirty-five years of smoking. Out of desperation, I got on the internet and typed "quit smoking" into a search tool. It brought me to the About.com Smoking Cessation support forum. My Mom was gone, my heart was broken, and I was lost.This forum became my home and the people within it, my dear friends and family. BUT, I was so miserable not smoking! Everybody kept telling me it would get better, that I would find peace in the recovery process... At six months smober (April 29th) I lost my Dad to oral cancer from smoking. On July 19th of that year, I willfully threw away my quit.
Let us fast forward to October 2007. By this time the forum had gone through many changes and I felt I might never be able to come back. As it was drawing close to my forum buddy Ronda's one year smoke-free milestone, I wanted to be here. Ronda made it; she managed something I kept failing at. On October 23rd Ronda wrote a milestone speech that broke through to me. The truth was sinking in and I began to understand.
I prayed, I cried, I understood and I stopped smoking on October 26, 2007. Wow!! I could not stop smoking to please God, to honor my Mother, for my Dad, Husband, Daughters, Grandchildren, Church, Friends, Forumily. These were the best motivators, but I had to want to live and I had to do this for me. How long it took no longer mattered... I fell on my face and surrendered.
I was encouraged to consider using the forum for support again; maybe I would connect with some new buddies. I had made the decision to use the nicotine patch this time. I was so scared. What if I failed again? Well, I decided early on that failure would not be an option.
I had a difficult time at first, but the support was better then I had ever known it to be. It was different, I was different and I was committed. Dear Susie/desertgolfer had a very loving, straight talk with me about peace, and about learning to be quiet and listen...that God knew what he was doing. Bless the Lord for giving me what I did not have on my own, the courage to change. Thank you for the gift of life!
I love you Mom and Dad, I miss you!!
Check this out... One year, 53 minutes and 37 seconds. 10981 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,921.69
Lessons Learned
- Smoking will show you no mercy and will rob you and your family of precious life.
- Be prepared, educate yourself, seek support.
- Take your quit one day at a time.
- Recovery from nicotine addiction is a process that will take time. Be patient with the process and be kind to yourself.
- Do not entertain the thoughts of smoking. They are only thoughts that will pass.
- Look at the big picture: your freedom, your health, your life.
- Hold on to the gift of freedom, own it and be grateful!
